When the divorce process begins to move along, you may find that your self-esteem is completely gone. You need to learn how to rebuild your self esteem so that you can move on successfully after the divorce. Moving on successfully means that you are okay not being married to him anymore. It may take months or even a year to get there, but it is a lot of work for some. Some people will take it really hard and the shock of the divorce can be devastating. You need to learn how to focus on the positive things and learn how to appreciate what you’ve got. You will feel a lot better about your life when you learn how to think positively.
You should never beat yourself down. It’s not your fault, it’s not anyone’s fault, you may have just had a bad marriage, it’s so hard to tell what a marriage will be like until a while after “I do”. Don’t think about the past, but focus on the future. You will want to replace any thoughts where you doubt yourself by stating something that you like about yourself and keep telling yourself that you’re okay and everything will be okay. You should learn to use positive words to describe yourself like smart, beautiful, ambitious, and so on. Your image of yourself will affect your life a lot.
To think positively you need to think things to encourage yourself. You should use self-esteem building activities like talking to yourself in a mirror. Tell your reflection how you feel about yourself in a positive way. You should make encouraging statements and you will actually begin to feel better by doing such things. The first step to rebuilding your esteem after divorce is to let go. You need to place the past in the past and begin to think about ways that you and improve the way you feel about yourself.
The best way to let go of the past is to get dressed up and go to your favorite restaurant and eat alone. If you can go there by yourself and have dinner, then you know that you will be okay. You know that you can be okay with being alone. However, if you feel extremely uncomfortable, ask yourself why and then tell yourself some encouraging statements so that you can feel better about the situation, and accept being alone or single is just fine. No one will stare at you, no one will notice you and at the end of the meal you will be much stronger as a result.
You should also let go of any goal of being perfect. This will allow you to adjust and you will lighten up about the entire situation. No one is perfect, but making yourself try to be will only make things worse. This is when you should tell yourself that you’re not perfect, but you’re perfectly fine being who you are.
You may need to make changes to be able to stand on your own. You should decide what you need to do to find yourself again and then reach out. Your level of success and confidence will rise. You should also learn that you can not isolate yourself. You need to be around people and your closest friends will not let your self-esteem dissolve. They will help you through the divorce as well as many other things. Your friends and family should be the key to finding yourself and love after the divorce. You will find the courage to move on by finding comfort in your friends.
My name is Paula Michaels. During my bitter divorce I felt betrayed, un-valued and not knowing which direction to turn. One day I decided to turn my life around and I started researching ways that I could get out of this terrible predicament and start a new rewarding life.
Writing was my main savior! I wrote about my experiences and what I had learned. I decided to share these experiences with other women who found themselves in a similar situation.
The results of my writings and research are all in my website Paula’s Practical Divorce Resources, or at My Online Store
It is my great hope that these writings and resources will inspire and motivate other women to take the necessary action to lead to a fulfilling and rewarding life.
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